It's Finally Over

Finally, this week is over, Although it was short, it was also extremely jampacked with crappy shitty goodness. It is about 3pm and my allergies are starting to kick up, this really sucks ass and balls simultaneously. The Main Event was yesterday and thankfully I survived. It seemed that all I did all day was pay lip service to people and I really hate doing that. The fact that I work at a TV station seems to compel random ass strangers to tell me their life story or some bullshit piece of crap sob story hoping that we will put it on the news. The whole time I am standing there listening to them outwardly I look pleasant and interested in what they have to say, but on the inside I am saying "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!SHUT THE HELL UP YOU NO LIFE HAVING PIECE OF SHIT, DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT I GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT YOUR FUCKING SHITTY ASS LIFE. I WOULD RATHER AMPUTATE MY LEG WITH A POCKETKNIFE THAN LISTEN TO YOUR BORING ASS STORY ABOUT HOW WE NEED TO PUT YOU UGLY ASS DAUGHTER ON THE NEWS CUZ SHE CAN SING AND IS GOING TO BE THE NEXT SHIRLEY FUCKING TEMPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHH, JUST BE QUIET AND QUIT TALKING TO ME YOU STEAMING SACK OF YAK FECES." The old people are the damn worst, what the hell is their freaking problem, nobody my age wants to hear about your damn arthritic pelvis, go back to your hot ass house and leave me alone.

Sorry I kind of blacked out there for a minute, don't know what happened, sometimes looking at ugly three toothed rednecks all day can do that to you. One thing I did learn yesterday was that some of the inmates at our local jail like to masturbate to our morning news program. Maybe it is kind of erotic, I would not know because I have never seen, but I am sure that the on-air banter can get quite steamy. Oh well no links today as I think I just might leave a little bit early today peace out and have a great weekend, except for the old people.

Busy as bees

I was off of work yesterday playing golf at Dancing Rabbit Golf Club in Philadelphia, Mississippi. I had a great time and the course was absolutely beautiful. But I am so freaking worn out that I do not know what to do with myself. It seems that everytime I turn around, I am either practicing softball, playing golf, or going out of town for the weekend, and this is all compounded by the fact that I cannot seem to catch up at work. With no Sales Manager right now it seems that most of that position's workload has fallen upon me, now I have been put in charge of setting up for the EMBDC's Main Event which will happen on the morrow. This event sucks, I cannot stand it. To me it is an excuse for white trash to pick up copious amounts of swag items from all the vendors that are there. That is why this year us folks here at the TV Station are going low-key, with a very demure display. It will be nothing like last year when we had a booth that centered around two of our most popular shows "Lost" and "Desperate Housewives." That was just way too much of a hassle for absolutely nothing. And as far as being to busy this guy can kiss my lily white ass. What this guy says it what we all need to do. This is a really poignant argument that somehow seems appropo to my situation at this point in time. I guess from time to time we all need to stop and smell the roses. My next two weekends are booked and although they are for fun and enjoyable things, it seems that I am never going to be able to lay on the couch and sleep all day ever again. Sob, Sob.
This diagram just struck me as odd-just read some of the things on it, weird huh.

Stuffed Giraffes and other stuffed oddities

So most of my friends and myself were up in Shuqulak, Mississippi for a crawfish boil. Laura kindly invited us (thanks) and we all had a freakin great time. The lakehouse and land it was on was absolutlely amazing. The crawfish were some of the best i have had in a long while and here relatives that were there welcomed us with open arms. You could not have asked for a better time. There was one thing that struck me as a little odd though. Inside the lake house was a plethora of stuffed animals both usual and unusual. Yes, there was the required herd of mounted deerheads, boar, and bobcats. But there were some no so common animal. Say, for instance, a stuffed wildebeest head, water buffalo head, zebra pelt, all various kind of antelope and gazelles. But the most shocking and weirdest thing was the massive stuffed giraffe in the corner, it was just the neck and head the body had obviously been discarded and its pelt was made into a rug for one of the bedrooms. Who in the hell stuffs a giraffe for crying out loud. I can understand deer and elk and to some degree wildebeest and water buffalo, but a friggin giraffe. How do you even hunt and kill a giraffe? Do you just wake up one morning and go "fuck it, let's go shoot a giraffe, stuff the neck and head and make a rug out of the skin." I guess it was just a little bit of shock factor when I saw it. I cannot think of a good reason to kill a giraffe, people do not eat them, they are not aggressive, and usually do not interfere in the agricultural endeavors of native populations. So I just don't know. So anyway, we did have a good time, and if I ever need to know how to kill a giraffe I know where to go.

Placenta the Second

Ok, remember a while back when I posted about women who eat their afterbirth (post entitled "Oh My God") well here is incontrovertibile proof from the guys a ebaumsworld. "It's Quite Meaty". This subject just keeps turning up like a bad penny. I just had to post this, expect a regular entry this afternoon.

Sometimes Your Brain Justs Hurts

Has your brain ever hurt? Mine hurts today, not like a headache or anything, just that my brain hurts, strange huh, oh well, life will go (unless my brain explodes), but then maybe I can become famous like Terry Schiavo and have a lot of fundamentalists fight over me while plastering my retarded looking ass all over the tv and internets.

It looks like it is trying to rain outside, I kind of hope it does so we will not have softball practice this evening as I am really tired, and plan on having a big weekend. Most of my friends and myself are going to a crawfish boil in Macon, Mississippi. It should be a raucous good time for all. I think that I will drink some Johnny Walker Black mixed with a little bit of water. That should do the job just about right. Is it me or do I sound like a 3 year with my sentence structure today? Well enough about syntax. I have increasingly noticed that this blog had basically become stream of Consciousness in its style. I really just type what is in my head at any particular moment. Today is 4/20 by the way so Huzzah to all you hippies and stoners out there. Back in my wilder days this was one of the greatest days of the year, you would stay high all day, come to think of it, back in college it was pretty much like every other day really. Speaking of 4/20 read more in this delightful children's book.

So a certain female weekend tv personality just stopped in my office to tell me that she had a crush on some navy guy that she met last night. Good for her (not). She was all like he probably thinks that I am a stupid little girl, and I was all like if you act one you probably are one. The guy she likes is the same dude that I said and I quote "Ivan Drago called, he wants his hair back." It got a pretty good laugh last night if I do say so myself. Anyway something about the military people in this town really rub me the wrong way, and cannot quite put my finger on it but there is something that is not quite right. It's like the Navy base is just some huge compound where dorks go to get buff and learn how to think they are better that everybody else. I wish they would stop going to the bars in this town, they really destroy the whole scene when they are at them. They are one of the reasons that i quit going to Crescent City and DT's and last night I saw several at Weidmann's if they start invading that place there will be nowhere else to go and I will probably die. The National Guard cats are all ok, it is the career military fuckers like pilots that really get under my skin. Well let me stop ranting before one of those psycho killing machines finds me and thinks I am a terrorist.

Peace Out

I need a Break

Okay so here is a sign that you need a break from work: I awoke this morning thinking it was Friday, and I was all like "Hell Yeah, Its finally Friday, Kick ass!" But then I was all like "Awwww dammit its only fucking Wednesday." And my day has been shitty ever since. There is probably nothing worse than a shitty day and it just keeps getting shittier. Oh well tomorrow is Thursday. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! Only Thursday, thats bullshit, I cannot take it "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" So I will probably go and have a couple of beers tonite to calm myself down. Drinking Problem? Try Drugs. I think not.

59 Things and man should never do after he is Thirty

Thank God I am only 25 (reference numbers 13, 18, 19, 33, 37, 38, 42, 49, 53, especially number 58, and 59

Funny jobs

I'm Back...Random Thoughts

So I know I have not posted since Thursday, just have had a lot going on. My boss resgined on Friday over some crazy shit that I won't go into here. That means that until somebody fills her position I am stuck doing a shitload of work on top of all the stuff I already do. Life's a bitch ain't it? Easter weekend was nice, really it just seemed like another weekend to me as I did not get any extra days off, although the majority of my friends did. A new bar opened in downtown this weekend and I cannot wait to go as the owner is a good guy who knows how to run a bar. Plus it is a piano bar which Meridian has needed for a long time in my opinion. Player Two's brother got married last week and I did not even know it. Thanks for telling me Player Two you shifty motherfucker. I had a really weird dream last night. Let's just say that it involved Louis and Ogre from the Revenge of the Nerds, beef jerky, a miniature corn dog from Long John Silver's (WTF?) a football game and my backyard. The only rational thing in the whole dream is the beef jerky and the corn dog as I did not eat any dinner last night. But the rest beats the hell out of me. And it wasn't even like Slim Jim beef jerky either, it was some kind of gourmet jerky that came with a cheese stick. And why in the hell was the corn dog from Long John Silver's, they don't serve corn dogs and I have only been there like once in my life. And the corn dog itself was not really even a mini corn dog, I mean it was like supersmall, like the size of a peanut shell or something, and it was shrinked wrapped in yellow Long John Silver's shrinkwrap. But I do remember that the corn dog was super awesome good. And I didn't just make that up that is what I said in the dream that this corn dog "is super awesome good." The dream's plot seems very discombobulated, I ate the corn dog, but gave the beef jerky to Ogre who farted toward the fans, who, by the way, were in stadium seating on my back porch...go figure. I won't even get into what happened next. That is probably one of the weirdest dreams I have remembered in a long time.

On another note, I read an article about Ethiopian Wolves in the March issue of National Geographic Magazine and these wolves are extremely endangered animals that are endemic to the Afro-Alpine highlands of Ethiopia, mostly in the Bale Mountains. One of the interesting things about this animal is that it actually hunts alone and not in packs which makes it unique among the canids of the world. Please go here to learn more.

Random Crap

So today is Thursday....my workplace provided lunch for all employees today. That was a nice thing to do although i bet that half of the hourly employees did not clock out before they went to eat...those lazy bastards. As were lining up to get food an employee literally had a mental breakdown. It was crazy cuz guy is all old and shit and he just fell off his rocker in front of everybody. It was pretty freaking awesome. On another we have some killer video that should go to World's Wildest Police Chases. Our chief photographer was almost run over and killed by a 9 month pregnant escaped convict. Yep you heard it right a 9 month pregnant escaped convict. How incompetent is our police force that allows a nine month pregnant woman escape, hijack a car, and then lead police on an hour long high speed chase. On a positive note the baby was born this morning, but the mother did not name it Chase which would have been appropriate. She named it some pussy name like Braxton or Bradley some non-macho crap like that. That is not cool.

Also I was hungover this morning but Mr. Rogers ham, egg, and cheese biscuit was able to se me nominally right....HUZZAH!!!!!

So that was kind of awesome, although I am still yawning a lot. Which has its good and bad parts, don't ask me what they are cuz I don't know homeys.

Funny cartoon: hope this works

Just in Time for Easter.....Jesus Dress Up

http://www.jesusdressup.com/??2#

Too Good

I had to post this

Cadbury Egg Cake

"Hypothesis: This is going to be so awesome!"

Ultimate Scare Tactic, Tophats, and other tidbits

Holy cow this person is selling every man's worst nightmare!
http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=9507389022&rd=1&sspagename=STRK:MESE:IT&rd=1


Here is a list of the world's 50 best restaurants, needless to say I have never been to any of them.

It's your turn now ladies-Top 10 Pick-up Lines

I especially Like-"This new Snickers Bar is fabulous. You've got to try it.

this is one of the coolest things that I have ever seen-http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8547285560243429315&q=RBI+baseball&pl=true

So i was watching the History Channel last night and a documentary on the assassination of President Mckinley was on. It got me to thinking, whatever happened to the Tophat, everybody wore Tophats back then, but you dont see them anymore, isnt that a shame. Nothing goes better with a good "Huzzah" than a genuine Tophat.

Here is the history of the tophat-http://www.formalwear.org/public/resources/tophat.html

Damn you Homburg!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuzzy Weekend......I am an Attention Whore

So this past weekend was the annual Crawfish Boil here in M-town, really the only thing that i remember was arriving there. Evidently i did not make too much of an ass out of myself, which is saying something considering how fucked up i was. The last memory I have of that day was dancing barefoot at Weidmann's although that memory is pretty vague. But I know I drank gin at some point, because I had a gin hangover Sunday. Of course I did not even wake up until about 330PM Sunday afternoon. Thanks to "The Queen" for providing me with the following pictures, as I never remember to take any, so thanks for preserving my amazing life for future generations.



These are not all of the pictures, but apparently I am somewhat of an attention and do my damndest to get into every picture taken.....feel the love people.

Also my shirts came in today, I cannot wait to wear them out and about. I ordered them from www.noisebot.com and was hoping they would arrive on Friday for this past weekend, but alas they did not. But watch out because my friends will be seeing a lot of them.

Here is something interesting, god what grant from the government can do.
http://cfprod01.imt.uwm.edu/Dept/FLL/linguistics/dialect/staticmaps/q_64.html

here is the site with all kinds of dialect maps-http://cfprod01.imt.uwm.edu/Dept/FLL/linguistics/dialect/maps.html

Po-Boys, Crawfish Boil, and Fridays

I am so friggin full. Nothing will do that to you like the 12 inch shrimp po-boy from seafood and chicken express on 8th street. That motherfucker is good as shit. So as I type this I am slowly drifting into la-la land, not long now, so time is short.

On another note, the Hungry Heifer's annual Crawfish Boil is tomorrow. It is raucus good time, and I usually get pretty wasted, which is pretty much what I do on the weekends anyway, so no big change for me there. Huzzah for Crawfish. I am so glad that this time of year is here again. Nothing goes better together than spicy ass crawfish and cold ass beer.


Fridays, I love Fridays, not so much the day itself, but Friday night, no work on Saturday you can get as drunk as you want to. And I plan on doing that, because that's how I roll. I really dont have any knowledge to drop on ya'll today so peaceout until the next time, I am off to annoy my friends by sending them crappy emails.

I have nothing to say

Ever since yesterday, I am going thru some sort of mental block, and really dont have anything to discuss today although we have got to start doing something about big drug companies. Yeah there is not way i am typing all that url so here is the link.
http://today.reuters.com/News/newsArticle.aspx?type=topNews&storyID=2006-04-06T071326Z_01_N06387475_RTRUKOC_0_US-DRUGMAKERS.xml

Here is more proof of evolution, suck it creationism.

Hey the Masters started today, huzzah, right now Vijay Singh is in the lead at 5 under par. On a more personal note, I feel that Vijay is great ambassador of Fiji, its people, ans its culture. Goooooooooooooo! Fiji! I cannot wait until Sunday to watch the back nine, only one of the most riveting events in all of sport. It is only topped by this. Make sure you watch the intro. I can only describe it as classic "pong" overlayed with "elephant polo" photos, with a soundtrack that makes you think that 4 or 5 hardcore gangstas are about to roll on some dudes.

Well I will leave it at that today peace out.

Random Thoughts and a Biker Chick

I thought about this while returning back from lunch with my compadre: You know those luggage carriers that folks place on top of their cars, don't they look like old hamburger containers from the 80s, sometimes I hope that when I finally open one there will be a gigantic quarter pounder waiting for me.

This is for those of you who have word verification on their comments page. It seems I am a having a harder and harder time getting the letters correct. It take me a least two misses before i get the sequence correct, Am I getting dumberer?

Dont mix Mountain Dew and Canada Dry.

the shirts that I ordered from Noisebot got shipped today-Huzzah!!

I should start a campaign to bring back the word Huzzah!!- I am tired of all this "yay!" crap.

quick survey: Queen's English or American English?

me: Queen's English (info: the american southern dialect is actually closer to true Queen's English than any other American English Dialect.)

Radican just stopped by good for him.

Well see all of ya'll at Weidmann's

Finally

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.......I am finally able to post today thank God, believe it or not this is the first time today that I have been on the Internets for purely pleasure. I have been extremely busy today as I was off work yesterday driving all over Mississippi bailing a friend out of jail, getting him a lawyer, and taking him home. I had to do all this because I owed him big time for basically saving my life in college once, but I think we are even now.

On another subject, apparently I got extremely blitzed on Saturday night. As expressed by the aptly titled "Anatomy of a Fall" here and here. Yep that is me. So what it was still fun and oh the memories I gave my friends and that is what it all is really about isn't it, giving friends stories to tell about you when you die. So on that note I bid you adieu and here is a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head.