Another Day, Another Dollar

Well it's Wednesday, ho-hum. Katie Couric left the Today's show this morning, so I have been watching montages of her all day on www.msnbc.com. I kind of enjoy watching those type things. I don't know I guess they just seem kind of cool to me. Just a kind of sentimental look back. I oftentimes so that myself, although, it is not in montage form. Well, our softball team chalked up another victory last nite. So now we have won two in a row. I assume that's good, I could really care less. Work is going by slow as molasses today, I just will not end 2:41 and counting. Time has slowed to an immeasurable crawl. Did you know that the word "immeasurable" is often used by politicians because it is double speak. It can mean immeasurably small or immeasurably large. So politicians will just say that something is immeasurable and most of the public believes the amount to be huge when in reality it could be immeasurable small. I know that was kind of mind numbingly boring, but hell, I really am just rambling and typing whatever comes in my head. Right now on Star Trek the Next Generation Commander Riker totally has a twin, but they will remedy the situation within the hour. I don't know if I am going to go out tonite. For some reason I really do not feel like it. To the layman walking by my office right now it appears that I am engrossed in work because I am just staring at the computer typing. I am the king of pretending to be doing work. I always have something ready to pull up that is work related. Star Trek is such an awesome show. Sweet...a new episode is starting, boy I can't wait to see what the crew of the Enterprise will be up to next, that wacky bunch. Well I will talk to all ya'll later. Peace Out.

We Finally Won Something

So I am sorry I have not posted in a while, I have just been and really have not had that much to say. I am glad to announce that my previous state of inactivity is over as the Ole Miss Rebels won the 2006 SEC Tournament on Sunday.....Hotty Toddy!!!!!!!! I cannot believe my alma mater actually and finally won something of merit. It is about freakin time. I am so happy no if we can only make it to the 2006 College World Series every thing will be right with the world. There seems to be an ongoing battle of Ole Miss entries at the urban dictionary. On another note we another damn softball game tonite that I am not looking forward to. It is a 8pm which is not as bad as 9 but still late as shit. Oh well I guess I will go since I missed the last game because I had to work late, which was a sack of bullshit within itself. So have you ever wondered what a "Dutch Rudder" is? Well let me say that I find the definition hilarious. Now that I got that out the way it makes the following headline really funny. "Baby born with third arm, can self-administer "Dutch Rudder" while flipping pages in porn magazine without help."
Now this chick needs a sandwich or two.....


I mean damn eat something for crying out loud, and what's up with the entourage, I wish I had an entourage.

Inside Joke...

Losers...Drunk, Belligerent Losers

Well our softball team lost again last night, which now make our record 1-2 and let me tell you it was not pretty. It was a tight game and defensive struggle and we came out on the short end. But that is not the real story of last night's affair, let me indulge myself here: It all began when we found out that we did not play until 9PM which is entirely too late in my book and most others books as well. Hell if i am not going out, I am usually in bed by at least 930 or 10 O'clock. Everybody on our team had the same idea before the game as well. Each little group on our team had the same idea as every other group, all decided to pregame it a little before the match. So the vast majority of our team arrived at the ballpark, half-drunk, and for some fully loaded. In retrospect that may have been a bad idea because we did not hit or field particularly well. So the game goes on and everthing is going just fine, when all of a sudden it seems that the shit just hit the fan. There was some animosity between our team and the opposing force. Some inappropiate things were said by their team and our team (mostly wasted remember) all of a sudden became belligerent. I mean down right nasty. I loved it, I absolutely laughed my ass off, because I could give two shits about the damn game, I just want to go out and have a good time, win or lose. We had people cussing the umps, the other team and various deities all in an hour and a half. It was beautiful. Our softball team has more issues than an episode of Dr. Phil. Both our pitcher and shortstop left in a fit of rage, and it seems that all of our girls are pissed off at our pitcher anyway from some comments he made about them sucking. Hell, I think our girls are pretty good, but who really cares anyway. It was so beautiful. The drunk softball team. The drunk belligerent softball team. Oh who knows what we will do next, you never know. The possibilities are endless and the escapades will prove to be legendary, this I am sure of. It cannot be a good thing that instead of bringing water to drink at the game we bring gatorade mixed with vodka. Beer. Crown Royal. And about 2 cartons of cigarettes between us. Stay tuned for future tales....My two cents...It was abso-freaking-lutely b-e-a-u-tiful.

Obligatory It's Finally Friday Post

So it's Friday again, and once again I am writing to say how glad I am it is this great day. Right now I am extremely full after eating a BBQ plate from the Chilihouse and I must say that it was terrific as always. Ugh, wait a minute, I totally have to go pinch a loaf................................................................Okay I'm back, man do I feel 110% better. That was a great dump, you know the kind that you don't have to strain to hard at, the kind that just kind of slide out and don't leave a big mess. Those are the best. Man, now I feel fantastic. Boy that sure was a good shit. Absolutely nothing went wrong: no interruptions, no splashback, no stray shit stain on your hand, just the perfect crapping experience.

So, I was surfing the net and came across these two print ads for chopsticks and I found them hilarious.


The ads are for a brand of Chopsticks and the caption reads: "Chopstix, Can't hate everything."

Funny, huh?
I really do not know what I will be doing this weekend. One of my grandmas is in town and leaving on Sunday so probably might just hang out with her or maybe not, you never know, the weekend could always involve a fifth of Johnny Walker like usual. The 131st running of the Preakness Stakes is this weekend as well, so I am pretty stoked about that. My trifecta will go like this: Sweetnothernsaint-to win, Barbaro-to place, and Brother Derek-to show. Although this trifecta means that Barbaro will not be the first Triple Crown winner since Affirmed in 1978. And although I have never seen a horse win the Triple Crown (winning Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, and Belmont Stakes) and really want to see it happen, I just do not think this is the year with so many recent near misses I guess I am just jaded. A near miss is defined as winning the first two races (Derby and Preakness) but not winning the last race (Belmont). Since 1997 their have been 6 near misses including Funny Cide in 2003 and Smarty Jones in 2004. Last year Afleet Alex won the last two races but did not win the Kentucky Derby first so that was kind of a near miss as well. Oh well we will just have to wait and see what happens on Saturday. Until then here is my trifecta for the Blackeyed Susan Stakes on Friday: She's an Eleven-to win; Gasia-to place; Regal Engagement-show. Well those are my picks, unitl next week my friends. Peace Out.

Blog is Back to Normal

This is a great day, first of all the video that I had posted about a month ago was finally archived yesterday and my blog is back to normal. Huzzah! So all you folks that quit coming around welcome back to the world of willis. Well last night our softball team (The PaintStore @ NorthHills) and we totally lost to the team from where I work. The one game I care about winning and we lose. Now I am going to have to endure weeks of ribbing from my co-workers about this. But it is not fair. All the girls on their team play friggin real softball for like High Schools and Community Colleges. That is so unfair when their girls are better than our guys. Cheaters, or maybe I am just being a sore loser. I like the second definition of sore loser. I found this email about rejected Google logos amusing. And Finally this link may come in handy when attending a high school reunion. Well kind of short and sweet (still have writers block) so I will see if something cool happens tomorrow That I can post. The Queen parody sure did take a lot of brain cells out of me.

Lockdown

So, right now I am just sitting in my office on lockdown, for Sonny Montgomery's funeral service which is at the Temple Theater. Apparently there is a least one former president attending the funeral, George Sr. and the rumor mill is that Carter, Clinton, and maybe even Shrub may attend as well. Oh, well. Tonight, our undefeated softball team plays the team sponsored by my employer. Most games I do not care whether we win or lose, but we have to win this one as if we don't i will have to face mucho ribbing at work. So we have to win, so I guess that I will sit the bench. Well i know that this post is not that interesting, but I have writer's block and something literally just came up, so I will talk to ya'll tomorrow.

We Were Victorious!

Please sing to the tune of "We are the Champions" by Queen.

"We were Victorious"

By umrebel

"I've played softball
Time and again
I've hit the ball
And I've thrown it in
And bad errors
I've made a few
I've had my share of trips and falls
but I've come through"

"We were victorious-my friends
and we'll keep on winning - til the end
We were victorious
We were victorious
No time for Amsouth
Cause we were victorious-over them"

"I've taken my strikes
and my called balls
It brought me pain and torture and all that goes with it
and I hate you all"

"But it's been no grand slam
no rbi single
Consider that if we lose- that I won't mingle
But we ain't gonna looooooooooose-"

"Cause we were victorious-my friends
and we'll keep on winning til the end
We were victorious
We were victorious
No time for Amsouth
Cause we were victorious -over them"


Thanks I'll be here all night- try the veal and dont forget to tip your waiters.

Softball, Bird Flu, and Revenge of the Nerds

So tonite we have our regular season opener in softball, under the lights, yay :( I really don't freaking care, why the hell did we decide to have a team anyway. I am already bored with it. Oh well I guess I will stick it out. So on Tuesday night I sorta watched this terrible movie called: Bird Flu: Fatal Contact. It was absolutely woeful. Luckily Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise was on another channel and it was totally awesome as always. Quote: "What if C-A-T really spelled dog?" Oh, Ogre what will you do next you big lug? Here is the complete Wikipedia entry for Nerds in Paradise. And although Nerds in Paradise will never top the first movie it was a nice diversion from the crappy Bird Flu movie. If i ever get bird flu I know some boys who make some moonshine that will kill anything so I am not worried. My favorite nerd was either the faggy Lamar or Poindexter-who is your favorite nerd?

Finally I can Post

Let me just preface by apologizing for not posting for a couple of days. I have been extremely busy and I have just now conjured up a little time to write. This weekend was really a blur. Both Friday night and Saturday night I got extremely wasted. Friday night was spent at Weidmann's with my fiends Bombay Sapphire and Tonic. $110 worth of spending that is! Although to be honest about $28 dollars went to an order of crabcakes. I tell you it probably did not even take me 28 bites to finish the entire entree. So on Saturday Kimmie and Steven had their engagement party out at their lakehouse, and although it rained a good time was had by all. And for me the Johnny Walker Black flowed like water. Needless to say both nights I just cannot remember anything except "vague details" which is a paradox within itself. I have got to stop getting so drunk so I can actually remember what I do. Wait a minute what am I saying! I'm sorry I had a brain fart. I can't stop drinking so much think what it will do to my reputation.

Thanks to the Magnificent Queen for the following pictures. "My descent into madness."




And those were the good pictures.....And to show that I am not completely narcissistic here is a pic of my best friend and his wife.

It's Finally Friday....Yayyyyyyyyyyy

I could not have said it better myself.

Thor's Day

Did you know that Thursday was named after the Norse God of Thunder, Thor. Pretty cool huh, Thor kicks ass. This weekend a couple of friends are having a massive engagement party out at Dalewood. It is kind of a boring day a work today although I did find out that Han Solo shot first. You will know what I am talking about once you watch the clip and remember how the movie was when it came out in the theatres. Below is a picture of TomKat's baby Suri:

It is a suprisingly accurate picture I think.
God I really hate the man-The University of Colorado Police have actually posted pictures of kids smoing pot and are offering a $50 reward for correct identification of the perps. What have we come to.

Well I am kind of tired plus the E! True Hollywood Story of Hulk Hogan is on so see ya'll later

Double Header My Ass

I don't know whose idea it was to play a freaking double header in softball last night, but it fucking sucked balls. Our team lost both games, and within about twenty minutes of us taking the field for the first game we had already lost two players to injury. I injured my self later by pulling a calf muscle in my right leg and my quadricep in my left leg. Plus my right nut kinda hurts. Needless to say today I am walking like a man who is 93 years old with only one testicle. I sure hope we don't have practice before our next game because my lazy ass needs time to heal. Tonite though I will imbibe some liquid medicine and my local watering hole. I may even order a plate of the fried dill pickles which will certainly help cure my muscles of their ailments. I seem to be placing a lot of links in this post today, I guess I am bored, plus I just got finished shopping on Amazon for mother's day and a birthday. I would also like to thank the Bodacious Queen for bringing me back a killer souvenir from Praha. Dankeshoen homeslice. That's German for "Thank You HomeSlice." Anyway let me get outta here holla at ya'll on the morrow.

Monday.....After an Active Weekend and Week

Let me just say that after a very active week and weekend I certainly did not want to come in to work today. Of course if the Mighty Queen can do it then why can't I. Welcome back from Praha. I sure hope you brought me back a souvenir "wink, wink." On Friday night after a long week I needed a drink, but I decided to go low key and just have several beers and a bottle of wine. The wine I drank was a Merlot from the good folks at Fish Eye Winery
And it was an extremely mellow yet encompassing Merlot that was pleasing to the palette. It made the perfect accompaniment to my steak which also was awesome, with a bold yet free flavor that surprised you at every turn. Saturday morning I awoke to a slight hangover and proceeded to head down to Quitman Country Club to play golf with Player Two. Quitman Country Club is a nice course that was fun to play. On Sunday I went bowling....yes bowling how fun, although I did bowl a 145 which I guess is kind of okay. There is only one bowling alley in my town and it does not serve alcohol because it is closer than 600 feet to a church. I think that is the stupidest law on the face of the earth. So after an active weekend I am looking forward to a stress free week, but we all know that won't happen.